You never think that your own daughter will come to you and tell you she is pregnant. You kind of assume, without really thinking about it, that it is something that happens to others. I always told Karen that whatever happened to her or whatever she did, she could come to me and tell me about it. I didn't want her to be afraid to tell me what was on her mind as I was with my mother.

And now here she was, scared out of her wits and not knowing what to do. I was no help to her whatsoever. I couldn’t think straight I was so shocked and upset and seeing her so upset just broke my heart. Eventually I managed to find words and told her that I didn't know what to do but her father and I would be here for her. At least she seemed a bit better, it didn't help me though.

It was only after she had gone that my feelings got the better of me, and I started wondering how she could do this. How did I not notice what was going on in my own daughter’s life? Getting pregnant at sixteen, with her whole life ahead of her, and all the things she wanted to do like finish school, go to university and have a career. Was I expected to look after the baby? Did she think that everything would fall into place as simple as that? What were herself and that boyfriend of hers thinking of, where was their sense of responsibility to themselves and their future?

I hated to think how her father would react. I knew he would lose the head. When I told him he was very upset. I tried to reason with him while he shouted, at me, at Karen and about her boyfriend. His temper eventually wore itself out, but his anger didn't. He's still angry with her and the boy, we both are. There was a constant atmosphere of tension in the house, everybody was upset and the other children didn't know what was going on.

Things got so bad that I knew that we needed help. The name CURA was familiar, I had seen the ad in magazines and heard it on radio. I thought what harm could it do to contact them so I made an appointment with a counsellor for Karen.

The counsellor, Ann, explained that it might sometimes be easier for Karen to talk to her than to me, because she might be worried about me and hold back. Karen said she felt so depressed and worried that it might be better for everyone if she got rid of the baby, so I said that I wouldn’t put pressure on her but that I didn't want that to happen. I told her whatever decision she came to about the baby I would help and support her as much as I could, but the responsibility was hers. After we got that out in the open, I think that both Karen and I both felt a good deal calmer.

I know now that Karen needed someone to talk to, someone independent, who was not emotionally involved. She didn’t know what she wanted, how to think as an adult. I suppose that was not surprising as really she was still a child. Her boyfriend was no great help either, but sometimes I forgot they were so young and immature.

As a family, we spent a long time talking things through. We discussed how this would affect us all and how we could best cope with this new situation. It was difficult and sometimes for me it meant just keeping the peace rather than thinking clearly about the best thing to do for Karen.

In all of this I had to have time and space for myself too. I went to see Ann In CURA too when I needed to get my had together and work things through for myself. This was just a lifeline for me and for that I am so grateful.

CURA could not solve all our difficulties for us, they never tried, but they allowed us space to look at ourselves and as a family to explore what was best for us and for Karen and how we could come through this together.