So when I missed a couple of periods, I went to the doctor expecting to discuss dealing with the menopause. When he gave the test results nothing could have prepared me for the shock of being told I was pregnant. I just couldn't take it in. I kept asking him was it possible that maybe there was some kind of mistake, but he said no. I felt total despair and although he tried to calm me down I was extremely upset on my way home. I just couldn’t believe this, not now. This could not be happening to me.

I tried to figure out what I was going to do, where to go. I didn’t feel I could cope with a small baby or even a pregnancy. It was hard enough when I was younger but now, at my age I just didn’t feel I was able for this. This was not part of the plan. What about Mike and the rest of the children, how were they going to react? Mike, my husband, and I were a bit set in our ways, had our own hobbies and habits, which worked well. Money was not as tight so we managed a holiday every year and often a break in between. We were happy as things were.

I thought of the changes a baby would bring, how could we possibly adapt our lives to include a new baby. I tried to picture how we would manage with sleepless nights and crying all over again. The thoughts of dealing with sleepless nights, feeding, nappy-changing and bottle washing were just depressing. How would we cope? I didn't want to think about it.

Actually, I was afraid that Mike and the children would resent the arrival of a baby and they would blame me for upsetting their lives. In fairness, I was probably being hard on them all, especially Mike. He had always worked hard to provide for me and the kids, but it was a long time ago since we had a baby and I was a little afraid of the reaction.

I was worried about my age. What if there was anything wrong with the baby, or me? You read about women of my age having babies and everything being completely fine, but I didn't know anybody who'd had one. I'd see all these young girls who were having babies going around, and I'd start to wonder what people would think of somebody my age starting rearing a baby all over again. It would be like two separate families.

I felt I needed to talk to someone who could be objective about the pregnancy. My friends wouldn't understand as they did not have any experience of this.

Then out of the blue, I heard an ad for CURA, and it said that CURA welcomed women of any age who wanted to talk about an unexpected pregnancy. It was like an answer to a prayer because I would never have thought that there would be that type of service for women my age.

I rang up and made an appointment, and I met a women called Evelyn. She was close to my own age, which was great because I felt that she understood where I was coming from. She didn't judge me or tell me it was dreadful for someone my age to be pregnant. She let me talk through all the difficulties I felt I might face, either health wise, or telling Mike and the rest of the family. Evelyn told me she would always be available for a chat if I wanted to discuss any issues or just to talk. She really helped me and supported me in talking about all my fears and anxieties and in making decisions about what I was going to do. Talking with Evelyn certainly made me feel calmer and helped me decide what to do. It also gave me great confidence when I had to tell Mike and the children the big news.

Mike nearly fainted when I told him, and for an awful moment, I thought that the baby might come between us. Then he really surprised me by saying at least a baby would keep him young! I nearly cried with relief. The kids were obviously stunned, but I didn't allow them to dwell on it and explained that they would be expected to pitch in and help with the baby. They really surprised me when they started arguing over names. Things so far are going well, I have to cope with the tiredness and need rest, but I am getting support. I have talked to Evelyn a few times, she has helped me to keep everything in perspective.